The traditional path to marriage is shifting for a growing number of men in their 30s across Africa, particularly in urban centres like Nairobi.

Rather than rushing into lifelong commitments, many are opting to remain single, a trend that marks a noticeable departure from previous generations.

This change is rooted in a mix of shifting social expectations, economic pressures, and a different view of personal fulfilment.

Redefining Success Beyond Marriage

For a long time, a man's success was closely tied to his ability to provide for a family. Today, that definition is expanding. Many men are prioritising their careers, personal development, and financial stability.

They see marriage as a commitment that requires a solid foundation, which they are not yet ready to build.

A new Pew Research Center analysis of census data finds that in 2019, roughly four-in-ten adults ages 25 to 54 (38%) were unpartnered – that is, neither married nor living with a partner.

This share is up sharply from 29% in 1990. Men are now more likely than women to be unpartnered, which wasn’t the case 30 years ago.

“Young men look at their fathers, their uncles, and their friends who go through divorces that leave them emotionally and financially devastated,” the study says.

The high cost of weddings and raising a family also plays a significant role. With economic instability and rising living costs, many men feel they cannot meet the traditional role of a provider.

They would rather build their wealth and a stable life on their own terms first.

A New Look at Relationships

Modern relationships are also changing. A study in South Africa noted a decline in civil marriage registrations, with the median age for grooms at 35.

The dating landscape has been influenced by a more liberal and independent culture, where men and women are exploring relationships without the immediate pressure of marriage.

Some men also express concerns about the long-term benefits of marriage. They see friends and family in difficult unions and are wary of the emotional and financial risks of divorce. 

This is reflected in online forums in Kenya, where men share concerns about a perceived lack of incentive to commit.

The Rise of the 'Bachelor Lifestyle'

For many, the bachelor lifestyle has become an appealing alternative. They value their independence and the freedom to focus on personal goals without the compromises that marriage often demands.

Beyond the challenges of marriage, there's a growing acceptance and even celebration of single life.

The freedom to pursue personal goals, manage finances without compromise, and avoid the emotional stress of modern relationships is a strong draw.

Read Also: How to Be a Good Single Dad:13 Crucial Tips

The availability of modern conveniences and casual relationships also means that some men feel they can get what they need from life without the legal and social commitment of marriage.

The statistics show this is not just a passing trend but a new normal.