Money Matters: How to Manage Emotional Spending
Financial discipline is not for the faint-hearted. We can plan, budget and lay out sound investment strategies all day long, but when it comes to following through, something happens.
You realise that this goes beyond impulse buying and that there is a distinct pattern of spending designed to regulate emotional states. This could be in response to stress, boredom, sadness, loneliness or even as a form of self-reward after achieving something.
While seemingly harmless at first, emotional spending that becomes a habit can significantly derail financial goals, lead to debt and contribute to a cycle of regret, eventually harming your mental health.
Identifying emotional spending requires a conscious effort to observe your purchasing habits and the feelings that precede them. Unlike planned purchases that can be justified, emotional spending is usually triggered by an underlying emotional state.
Common indicators include making purchases you immediately regret, buying items you do not need or, worse, cannot afford, experiencing a momentary high followed by guilt, or repeatedly finding yourself shopping when feeling emotionally vulnerable.
Overcoming this type of spending requires a multifaceted approach that combines self-awareness with practical strategies. The first crucial step is to implement the “pause principle.” Before any non-essential purchase, impose a mandatory waiting period of 24 to 48 hours.
This simple delay gives you critical time for the initial emotional surge to subside and allows for rational consideration of whether what you want to buy is a necessity and if you can afford it. This pause allows you to evaluate whether that purchase genuinely aligns with your financial goals or not.
Secondly, identify and address your triggers and underlying emotions. If stress leads to online shopping, explore alternative, healthier coping mechanisms such as exercise, connecting with friends, or engaging in a hobby. If boredom drives you to spend, find free or low-cost activities that genuinely stimulate you. Understanding why you are making those choices while feeling a certain way will be more effective than simply trying to stop the act itself.
Additionally, instead of viewing a budget as a restrictive set of rules, look at it as a tool for intentional spending that aligns with your goals. Allocate some funds for discretionary spending, including self-care and treats, but ensure they are within your means.
‘You can’t trust your instincts,’ says financial psychologist—here’s how to avoid emotional spending
If stress or sadness has ever pushed you to buy something you probably don’t need, you’re not alone. Nearly 70% of Americans say emotions have influenced their spending, a recent LendingTree survey finds.
When it comes to emotional spending, “the deck is stacked against us,” says financial psychologist and certified financial planner Brad Klontz.
“We’re up against expert marketers who present buying opportunities for us that are entirely based on emotion,” he tells CNBC Make It.
Younger generations are more susceptible to letting their feelings influence their purchasing habits. Roughly 75% of both millennials and Gen Z admit to emotional spending, possibly because they’re less likely to think about their retirement funds when clicking “buy.”
“We’re wired to spend right now,” says Klontz. “And in order to not spend that money right now and save it for the future … you have to have an emotionally compelling reason to do it. That’s the irony.”
While stress is the leading emotion that Americans say drives their spending sprees, excitement (44%) and happiness (38%) round out the top three. That’s not shocking considering that 54% say they’re more likely to spend when in a good mood, according to LendingTree.
“That’s not to say that a negative emotional experience didn’t get you to pull the trigger,” says Klontz. “But as you’re pulling the trigger, you’re pretty excited about this thing you’re buying.”
While emotional spending is a common habit, it’s not one you want to turn into a bigger problem. Nearly 40% of emotional spenders say they’ve gone into debt because of it, and Klontz warns of the stress that emotional spending can put on your finances and relationships.
Read Also: Feeling Stressed at Work? You're not Alone
If you consider yourself an emotional spender and want to introduce some boundaries to your habit, here are five tips from Klontz on how to fight your instincts and resist the urge to hit “buy” the next time you’re stressed.
5 tips to curb emotional spending
The first step to addressing emotional spending is to acknowledge that we all do it, says Klontz.
“You can’t trust your instincts when it comes to money,” he says. “That’s essentially what it comes down to.”
Emotional spending is driven by our amygdala, the part of the brain that processes emotions. And when your emotions are running high, the prefrontal cortex — which is responsible for making judgements like those related to budgeting — gets tuned out.
“When you become emotionally charged, you become rationally challenged,” Klontz adds.
Here’s how to challenge your impulse and avoid letting your amygdala run your finances.
1. Practice the 24-hour rule
To resist your brain’s urge to buy, put some time between your impulse and actually purchasing something. Klontz recommends the 24-hour rule.
“You load things in the cart on Amazon, but you’re not going to buy, you’re going to wait 24 hours and then go back to see if it’s things you actually want,” he says. “That can be super powerful.”
2. Use cash whenever possible
When shopping in person, Klontz recommends using cash instead of simply handing over a card, so you can be aware of exactly how much you’re spending.
“So much of our spending is unconscious, and when you actually have to slap down dollar bills at the store, it’s sort of a painful experience,” he says. “A lot of us will swipe and we’re not really sure how much we just spent.”
3. Ask yourself tough questions
Before you buy something, it can be helpful to ask yourself a series of questions to determine if the purchase is really worth it, Klontz says.
“You can write in your notes on your phone: Is this something I can afford? Is this something I need?” he says. “Where am I going to put it? And how am I going to feel about this tomorrow?”
4. Find an accountability buddy
Rein in your emotional purchases by finding a friend and setting a spending limit that you both agree to stick to. If someone wants to buy something over that limit, they have to consult with the other person first.
“My wife and I actually do this with each other,” Klontz says. “Just knowing that you’re going to [consult someone else] will probably talk you out of a lot of stuff anyway.”
5. Think about your long-term goals
While emotional spending is often unavoidable, considering your financial goals is also a powerful way to prevent your feelings from wrecking your finances.
“Sit down and think about what you really want in life,” says Klontz. “Because chances are it’s not the latest little thing you just bought on Amazon.”
By developing a clear and exciting vision of how you want to spend your money in the future — think financial freedom or a down payment on a home — you can direct your emotional spending toward your goals.
“In-the-moment emotional spending has nothing to do with your actual values and goals, and it might be sabotaging what really matters to you,” adds Klontz.
